A bit of humor for your Saturday morning coffee.  Thinking back to my farming days I would have to say it’s true too.  Have a good weekend.

Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana.
 The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed
 he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an
 agent out to interview him.'I need a list of your
 employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied old John,
'There's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years.
 I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.
 The cook has been here for 18 months,
 and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board.
 Then there's the half-wit
 who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90%
 of all the work around here.
 He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board
 and I buy him
 a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,' says the agent.

'That would be me,' replied old rancher John.

Perks of being over Sixty 

1) Over Sixties - One-liners
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 
7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses. 
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 
12. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it. 
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 
15. You sing along with elevator music. 
16. Your eyes won't get much worse. 
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, having purchased a case of very expensive cigars, insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile, the man filed a claim against the insurance company, stating that the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires’.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued – and won.

In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be ‘unacceptable fire’, and was obliged to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost ‘in the fires’.

After he cashed the cheque, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, “39 AND HOLDING.”
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, “AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?”

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?” THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES.
“YES, SIR,” THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
“WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE,” THE BOSS WENT ON. “AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!