The phone rings at FBI headquarters. ‘Hello?’

‘Hello, is this FBI?’
‘Yes. What do you want?’

‘I’m calling to report my neighbour Graham. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.’
‘This will be noted.’

Next day, the FBI visit Graham’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, curse Graham and leave.

The phone then rings at Graham’s house. ‘Hey, Graham! Did the FBI come?’
‘Yeah, they did.’

‘Did they chop your firewood?’
‘Yep, every piece.’

‘Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden dug.’