All posts by George Walters

George Walters is a Canadian columnist and author with more than forty years of writing experience. For over twenty years he has written a weekly column for Postmedia Network — Canada's largest newspaper chain — never missing a single week, publishing fifty-two stories a year. Combined with his work in Reader's Digest Community Voices, World News, Country Living, The Country Register, and farm and rural lifestyle magazines across Canada, he has published well over two thousand stories drawn from everyday life. He writes about farm work, fishing, old trucks, and the kind of people you only find in small towns — but just as likely he'll hand a voice to a weathered telephone pole, or turn his eye on something happening in the world today and tell you exactly what he thinks about it. No subject is off limits. If there's a story in it, George will find it. He has been called a philosopher of everyday life, a description that came up more than once during his television appearances over the years — and it's not hard to see why. His writing has a way of making the ordinary feel worth sitting with. He is the author of eleven books, including yearly short story collections and the Clay Moretti Files mystery series. Clay is a fifty-year-old private investigator who drives a 1967 Ford Galaxie, smokes cigars, and operates by a code the modern world gave up on a long time ago. The cases are present day. The man handling them is not. All titles are available in paperback and eBook on Amazon. Together, George and his wife Ruth have also created Elmer Finds His Way, the first in what he hopes will be a long series of children's books. Ruth did all the illustrations, as she has for every one of George's books — and beyond that she designed and painted the covers as well. Her work is woven into every page of everything he has published. A few words from readers: "I pulled up a kitchen chair and read your story three times." "You have a way of making a person homesick for a place they haven't been to." "Thank you for writing things that make old people and kids feel the same way at the same time." All my titles are available in paperback and eBook on Amazon.ca here.

Humor, Gotta’ Love It

The question is:

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.

We were only in there for about 5 minutes.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi Turn Coat. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a misserable old bugger.  He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.  Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn’t care.  We came into town by bus.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.  It’s important at our age.

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Humor, Pretty Good Too

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.   Hope you are.

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch  by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled up.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water and nice soap.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food,  plus yours,  holds you until noon   when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on ‘route marches,’ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us   If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different.  A ‘route march’ is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The Sargent is like a school teacher. He nags a lot.

The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.

I keep getting medals for shooting.   I don’t know why.

The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don’t even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.  It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home.  I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver   Lake .  I only beat him once..  He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6′ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8′ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Good Old Butter

There seems to be a lot of question about which healthy spreads should be used to replace butter. Since the word is finally spreading about the harmful nature of trans fat, margarine has been officially declared as a substance which should be avoided. Of course, in its place have rushed countless other butter alternatives which do not contain hydrogenated fats. But now that refined vegetable oils, additives and preservatives are coming under fire, it leaves the question what in the world can we spread on our toast? The answer is simple and natural: go back to butter.

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Wisdom Joke Of The Day

Dwayne is a strong young man at the construction site and he was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen, George. After several minutes, George had had as much as he was willing to take. ‘OK, Dwayne, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?’ he stated thoughtfully. ‘I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.’

‘You’re on, old man,’ Dwayne, the braggart replied, smirking. ‘Let’s see what you got.’

George, the old fellow, reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to Dwayne, he said, ‘All right. Get in.’

Footnote:
Please share with us your wisdom and experience.

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Relative Humidity & The Flu

Sound Advice.

So why is relative humidity misleading?

The answer is that more moisture can be present in warm air than in cold. Some people like to say warm air can hold more moisture than cold air. While that’s not scientifically correct, it is a convenient way to think about it.

What that means is warm air at 30 percent relative humidity and cold air at 60 percent relative humidity may actually have the same amount of water in the air.

So, while the cold air sounds moist, it might be pretty dry – just what the Flu likes.

Absolute humidity is expressed in weight of water, grams or pounds, in a volume of air, such as a cubic meter or yard. The higher the reading the wetter. The wetter the less likely of catching the Flu

“In some areas of the country, a typical summer day can have four times as much water vapor as a typical winter day – a difference that exists both indoors and outdoors,” “Consequently, outbreaks of influenza typically only occur in winter when low absolute humidity conditions strongly favor influenza survival and transmission.”

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]