Logical Thinking  

A Year 5 teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking. 

"This is the scene," said the teacher. 

"A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. 

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" 
A little girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?" 

Sometimes those who try and pull rank get their come-uppance.
One foggy night, a United States Aircraft Carrier was cruising off the coast of Newfoundland and the junior radar operator spotted a light in the gloom.  Here is a transcript of what happened next.

The radar operator worked out that a collision was likely unless the other vessel changed course.  So he sent a radio message.
U.S. Aircraft Carrier Radar Officer:
Please divert your course at least 7 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Back came the reply you must be joking, I recommend you divert your course instead.

The U.S. Radar Officer referred the matter to his superior officer.  And reported the incident as subordination.
As a result the  Captain of the Air Craft Carrier sent a second message.  I believe that I out rank you, and am giving you a direct order to divert your course now!!!

Canadian Radio Operator: This is a lighthouse.  I suggest you take evasive action.

Parrot at Auction

One day David went to an auction. While he was there,
 he bid for a parrot.
 David really wanted this bird, so he got caught up
 and thoroughly involved in the bidding.
 He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid,
 so he bid higher and higher and higher. 

Finally, after he had bid much more than he had intended,
 David won the bid; the parrot was his at last.

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer,
 "I hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have
 paid this much for it,
 only to find out that he can't talk!" 

"Don't worry." said the auctioneer, "He can talk.
 Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Well first day of spring here in Port Loring Ontario.  Great day to be alive. Well any day being alive is better than the alternative.  Sure doesn’t feel like it temperature wise though, as this morning it was down to 12 degrees old school.  But there is warmth in the sun, so that is a sure sign things are moving toward them lazy hazy days of summer.  Thought I would put together our holiday and vacation dates for ya.  Take A Look.

March 2009
8th Daylight Saving Time Begins
17th St. Patrick’s Day
20th First Day of Spring

April 2009
1st April Fools Day
5th Palm Sunday
10th Good Friday
12th Easter Sunday
20th Passover

May 2009
10th Mothers Day
18th Victoria Day
25th Memorial Day (US)

June 2009
21st Fathers Day
21st First Day of Summer

July 2009
1st Canada Day
4th Independence Day (US)

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one’ the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ‘The Young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon. Our space probes have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and hydrogen cars, cell phones. Computers with light-speed processing… And more.’

After a brief silence the senior citizen responded as follows:

‘You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young … so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little xx#*, what are you doing for the next generation?’