To the guy who tried to mug my girlfriend and me last night.

Now here is a fellow after my own heart, makes my day when I hear about guys like this.   Take a look, figured it would give you an insight on how I feel about things, as I think this fellow did exactly what I would have done if the laws were the same as the good old US of A.  Talk Soon.

To the guy who tried to mug me in down town the night before last.

Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A. M. EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry Jacket that you demanded that I

hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives…
You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after

you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, but I was wearing the jacket

for a reason.
My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for

my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
Obviously, you agree that it was a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your

head wasn’t it?
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from bare

footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That

prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell,

I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled

up my gas tank as well as four other people’s in the gas station on your

credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was

extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with

all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked

at the curb… after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the

entire driver’s side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for

a little over a day now, so what’s going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office

and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while

he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you…but I feel this type

of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing

issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and

perhaps reconsider the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

2 thoughts on “To the guy who tried to mug my girlfriend and me last night.”

  1. Pingback: Jack H.

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