Humour for a Wed Afternoon

The Rambo Granny of Melbourne , Australia

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down…
and shot off their testicles.

“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,”said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.
Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be:
“Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”
Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.
The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said.
“The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,”Detective Delp told reporters.

“Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row.
“When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ’cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,” recalled the retired library worker.
“And I wasn’t scared of them, either – because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shootin’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”
So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails, Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.
“I knew it was them the minute I saw ’em, but I shot a picture of ’em anyway and took it back to Debbie, and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…
“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ’em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ’em most, you know.
Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up, pleading to me to spare him.
Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”
Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.
“What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,”

Det. Delp said,

“Especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”

DEPORT HER TO CANADA, WE NEED HER!

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Morning Chat, Sept. 8/2021

Good Morning. Well … in spite of what our weather experts were telling us, we are having some sunshine here in Port Loring, Ontario this morning. And I have to say looking out at the shadows on our front lawn, it sure looks appealing, or in our old tongue … down right nice. Highway 522 has slowed down some, but not Highway 11. The reason I know this is, my wife and I had to make a trip to town yesterday, and it was almost bumper to bumper with cars, trucks, campers, you name it. And that was heading north. And on top of all that, the traffic in North Bay was unbelievable. We thought that with the kids going back to school, it would be a good time to pick up some much-needed clothes. But that was the wrong prediction. There are around 56000 people in North Bay and I don’t think one of them works, as I think we saw everyone that lives there. The stores were packed. The good news was that most folks were keeping their distance. But even still, you are taking a chance by going into these places. My wife and I have stayed out of them for almost two years, but there comes a time when a person needs pants, shirts, socks and shoes, LOL. So we had to bite the bullet and go get them. We just picked the wrong day. Anyway things worked out, we ate our lunch in our car, taking in what the city had to offer and came on home. All in all, we had a good day. A long, expensive day, but a good day. On the expensive part, things sure cost a lot these days. I can’t see how some of these stores can justify the increase. Like gas for our cars. We live in a country with more natural resources than anyone else in the world, and we Canadians pay the most. Ridiculous really. Today I will be painting our front door as it has been bugging me awhile now. So after I have my morning bowl of cereal, I will get at it. It will be a good job to get out of the way, as I can have the windows in the house open and along with that, I will be giving my old back a bit of a rest, as it isn’t up to par yet. With that, I will chat to you tomorrow if things goes to plan. Have a great day and stay safe, especially with so many people out and about. GW

Fishing Times; Today my old weather stick is saying that the best times to be out there fishing will be between 1:00 PM – 3:30 PM and then again from 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM. I give it a 3-Star Rating out of 5 for catching a few. Good Luck!

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George Walters | [email protected]

Morning Chat, Sept. 7/2021

Good Morning! It’s another great looking day here in Port Loring, Ontario, Canada. The sun is shinning with just a few clouds in the sky. But in saying that, there is a storm warning up for tonight and tomorrow, where we could see a substantial amount of rain, along with some thunder and lightning thrown in for good measure. So … I would suggest that if you have any work that needs doing outside, today would be the day to do it. Highway 522 has slowed down with folks heading home for the summer. I have to say that after being cooped up for a few years not seeing that many people, my wife and I are going to miss them. It’s a crazy world we are living in at the moment. Will things get better? Well, being the age I am, and seeing the things that have happened over the years … it will get better given time. Yesterday I worked some more on our vegetable gardens, getting things ready for winter. I also did a bit of painting on my basement windows. Now that we have all the large projects out of the way for the year, I am now working on the little things that I have wanted to do for the past couple years. With that, I am off for my morning bowl of oatmeal and will then get to doing some outside work before the rain enters into the picture. Take care and stay safe. It’s not the time to let down your defences. GW

Fishing Times: Today the old weather stick is saying that the best time to be out there with pole in hand would be between 12:00 PM – 3:00 PM and then again from 6:30 PM – 9:00 PM. I give it a 5-Star Rating out of 5 for catching a few. One of the best days of the year for fishing. Take care and stay safe, and don’t forget your rain coat. Good Luck!

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In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Morning Chat, Sept. 6/2021

Good Morning. It’s a cloudy morning here in Port Loring, Ontario. The sun was shinning for a wee bit till some clouds rolled in. We should see a wee bit of sunshine off and on for most of the day. It kind of looks like we will have a mixed bag of weather for the next week before things straighten out. All caused by the hurricanes that are moving up from the south. But in saying that, the temperatures will be pretty nice. Getting out of bed, it was sitting at12.4 C | 54.32 F, not too hot … not too cold. Highway 522 was very busy yesterday. Folks in all kinds of vehicles heading back to the big cities or ? Yesterday I worked in our vegetable gardens, cleaning out some weeds and plants that aren’t producing anything anymore. I might put in a row of lettuce, so we can have some fresh salads for the remainder of the year. It only takes a couple of weeks to get up to size for eating. But we will see, as my old back started acting up yesterday morning. I thought the gardening might fix it, but it didn’t. It helped, but it bothered me a lot through the night. I chalk it up to all the work my lovely wife and I have done over the summer. Not much you can do other than take things easy for a few days, and let things heal. It amazes me how us humans abuse our bodies day in and day out, not realizing what we are doing. Especially when you get older. You would think we would know better!! On another note, it won’t be long before my wife and I have to bring in our firewood for winter. That is a job too. We don’t bring in as much as we used to, as this new NewMac Wood Furnace burns a lot more efficient. It cut our wood burning down to less than half of what we were using. Can’t beat that. It is work bringing in the wood, but when them cold days of winter arrive, it sure feels nice when we light it up. With that, I am off for my morning bowl of cereal and will then see what the day has in store, other than what I have planned. Take care and stay safe. This virus is rising in numbers more every day. Mostly through the unvaccinated and young. GW

Fishing Times: Today my old weather stick is saying that the best times to be out there with your line in the water will be from 12:00 PM – 2:00 PM and then again from 6:30 PM – 8:00 PM. It should be a great day for catching a few. I give it a 5-star rating out of 5 for catching a few. Good luck!

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

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In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]

Morning Chat, Sept 5/2021

Good Morning. It’s another sunny morning here in Port Loring Ontario, Canada. And if things go to plan, it should remain with us, along with some clouds, for most of the day. The temperature getting out of bed was sitting at 16.9 C | 62.42 F, with the winds coming out of the N West at 4.68 km/h | 2.91 mph. The barometer is rising, which is a good thing. At least weather wise. Highway 522 is still busy these days. We will see how that goes now that the kids are heading back to school next week. Hard to say, as a lot of people are working from home these days, caused by the virus. And as hard as it is to say … a lot of folks don’t want to go back to work. Reason being, they are still getting the money that the government is handing out. I actually know some business that can’t find help and might have to close down. Strange world we live in these days. But, being the country we are, I suspect things will be getting a lot worse in that department. Yesterday, my wife and I worked around our home. I decided to move our weather station to a better location. We moved it and attached it to our new shower house we built earlier in the year. Now that we took down a bunch of trees that needed to be taken down, things are opened up a lot, which makes it just perfect for our weather station to monitor things. I like it a lot, as now I can keep an eye on it from my desk. That will be nice all winter as it will give me something different to look at. And I do enjoy watching and predicting the weather. I have been working with it for most of my life using different methods that my old Dad and Grandfather used, along with my Native friend’s Grey Wolf’s knowledge. For most parts it has been pretty accurate. Today I have my shop to clean up once again. It seems when ever I get to doing things at the end I have a mess to clean up. Not complaining mind ya. With that, I am off for some cranberry pancakes my lovely wife is making me with some Maple Syrup that my friend Mike gave us awhile back. He was the world’s champion a year or so ago. Nice fellow. Take care and stay safe. GW

Fishing Times: Today my old weather stick is saying that the best times to be catching fish are between 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM and then again from 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM. I give it a 3-Star Rating out of 5 for catching a few. Good Luck! Oh, don’t forget your raincoat. It might come in handy.

Click on Picture to Enlarge!

Cranberry Pancakes

All my books are available on my Amazon Author Page.

If you purchase a book, a brief Amazon review really helps new readers discover my work—it means a lot.

Support my writing: Support My Writing

In Closing, I Would Like to Wish You Well!

George Walters | [email protected]